Dear J,
One day you are finally going to get a link to this blog, and you'll shake your head. But you'll smile, you'll read, and I think you'll appreciate. We've gotten through our first year together and it's certainly been an interesting journey. Sometimes the road gets rocky when we hit bumps in the road we haven't anticipated, but I hope you will one day be able to use this when you need it most, to guide you back to smooth sailing. You know I express myself best through writing. I'm much more articulate. I hope what I write is what you need to hear.
It's going on 1AM and you're asleep next to me; doing that thing where you slowly inch up closer and closer behind me, so that when I finally do go to sleep, I'll have a sliver of the bed (but your arms wrapped around me). It's a weekday, so needless to say you work in the morning, and I'm still working crazy hours so I'm up til all hours of the night. Opposite schedules make it hard to see each other often, but I'm doing my best to fix that. I miss you a lot. Even though I get to see you every day. Even if it is just while you're asleep next to me. Our relationship has undergone some changes since we moved in together, and admittedly, I am still adjusting.
I must say that I am incredibly grateful for your patience. My life feels very confusing right now while I decide what steps I want to take as I venture into adulthood. Sometimes I feel I am still too naiive to really make such decisions for my life right now. I am scared, and not quite myself at all times. But you're always here. Sometimes frustrated with me, yes, but you're here. You're sticking it out with me. I couldn't ask for more.
I am in love with you, no less than I was a year ago today.
B
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